


Hold me while you wait

by Thedoctorsblogger



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, College AU, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, They are in love i promise, aziraphale is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 07:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19988743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thedoctorsblogger/pseuds/Thedoctorsblogger
Summary: For the ineffable husbands bingo, Angst prompt.Aziraphale has left. Crowley doesn't know what he did wrong.





	Hold me while you wait

**Author's Note:**

> This is based around the Lewis Capaldi song 'Hold me while you wait.'

_“I'm waitin' up, savin' all my precious time. Losin' light, I'm missin' my same old us. Before we learned our truth too late”_

“I can’t do this Crowley, I'm sorry.” those were the last words that Aziraphale had muttered before he walked out the door.

Crowley knew that the older boy had reservations about their relationship, but he never thought it would come to this. Aziraphale was supposed to be the strong one on the relationship. Strong enough to resist temptation and falling into the bad crowds that Crowley fell into. Strong enough to be a decent person. If Crowley had to choose one adjective to describe Aziraphale, it would be Angelic. That’s even where the boys pet name came into being. 

Crowley stared at the note that he kept on his person at all times. It was faded now. The edges worn and torn. The creases nearly falling apart from the note being opened so much. 

“I’ll be home soon my love - pasta for dinner, I just had to nip out for some wine. Celebrations will be tonight for our one month - Your Angel” 

He caressed the note, tears streaming down his cheeks and onto his most prized possession. 

_“Tell me more, tell me something I don’t know. Could we come close to havin' it all? If you're gonna waste my time. Let's waste it right”_

Aziraphale was smart. That was part of what Crowley fell in love with when he met the older boy. His angel could always tell him something he didn’t know and he loved that. Aziraphale could talk for hours about whatever he was reading and Crowley would listen the whole time. 

Crowley had no idea that there was anything wrong. He thought that they were going to stay together forever. They would be there for each other through thick and thin and through the fun times and through the boring times. They were going to be the ones to get each other through everything. 

_“I wish that I was good enough. If only I could wake you up. My love, my love, my love, my love. Won't you stay a while? I wish you cared a little more. I wish you'd told me this before”_

It turned out that Aziraphale had doubts throughout their entire relationship. Even Crowley would admit that it was a bit fast - they were moved in together before they even were a couple - but he thought, no he knew that they were meant for one another. 

Aziraphale had told him that he was religious, but Crowley didn’t know he was that serious. He told Crowley that what they were doing was a sin, and he just couldn’t do it any longer. As if he wasn’t part of it as well. 

Crowley didn’t understand. Aziraphale seemed in love. That wasn’t something that someone could fake. Crowley ran through the last few days in his head. Aziraphale was acting weird but he attributed it to the upcoming midterms. Then again, the younger boy had seemed fine until he had called his parents about coming home for the holidays. 

That must have been it. Crowley did remember that Aziraphle had mentioned something about his mother being a deeply religious woman. It must have been her. She must have gotten under his angels skin. 

In some ways this knowledge hurt Crowley even more. He always thought that Aziraphale was the strong one, but he couldn't be strong the one time it counted. The one time that Aziraphale would have to stand up to someone to defend his lover and he crumbles. He must have not cared enough about Crowley. That was the only explanation. Crowley wasn’t good enough. 

What hurt the most was that Aziraphale had never confided in him. Being lovers aside, Crowley was still his best friend. If Aziraphale hadn't come to him that meant that his angel didn't trust him anymore.

Crowley crumpled as sobs wracked his entire body. 

_“This is you, this is me, this is all we need. Is it true? My faith is shaken, but I still believe. This is you, this is me, this is all we need”_

Crowley wasn't really religious. He never saw the point of it. He believed that you just shouldn't act like a dick and some schmuck from 2000 years ago and his big headed parent in the sky didn't come into it. 

But Crowley was sure that if there was a god she couldn't be this cruel. She couldn't be so cruel as to tear love apart just because they both had penises rather than only one of them having one. If god was that cruel, it wasn’t a god that he wanted to look up to. 

But Crowley still had faith. Aziraphale loved him. He was just confused. They were meant to be together so they would be together forever. Crowley couldn’t see a future without his Angel, so there must not be a future without his angel. That's all he needed. Just Crowley and his angel until the end of time. Yeah- he liked that. Crowley had to believe in this future because any other future wasn't one he wanted to think about. 

_“Hold me while you wait”_

Crowley didn't hear the door of the apartment open. Aziraphale was supposed to be headed towards his brothers apartment, but he had forgotten his bus pass. He hoped to god that Crowley would have gone out to drink his feelings away with his buddies, and their apartment would be empty. He didn't know if he could face seeing the younger boy at that moment. Aziraphale had a hard enough time leaving in the first place, but it was the only way that he could save both of them. 

His call with his mother had been a wake up call. Aziraphale couldn’t doom Crowley to an eternity in hell just to satisfy his own carnal desires, so he had to leave. He had to save Crowley from himself. 

Aziraphale heard the broken sobs of his lover as he opened the apartment door. Crowley was exactly where he left him, except the younger boy was curled in on himself clutching a piece of paper. 

Aziraphale fought with himself before rushing to the younger boys side and taking him in his arms. Crowley tried to fight it. He tried to push Aziraphale away but Aziraphale was too strong, he held on until the younger boy gave up and went limp in his arms. Crowley wept into Aziraphale’s neck clutching onto the lapels older boys overcoat. 

_“Stay a while (Hold me while you wait) (My faith is shaken, but I still believe) My love, my love, my love Won't you stay a while?”_

“Shhhh I’m here” Aziraphale whispered into the younger boys ear. 

“Stay with me.” Crowley’s sobbs slowed a little. 

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere” Aziraphale felt his own tears streaking down his face. He paused and what he said next surprised even him. “Not ever. I'm never going to leave again.” it was a snap decision, but Aziraphale knew that he meant it without a shadow of a doubt. 

Fuck Hell. Fuck Heaven. Fuck everything in between. All Aziraphale needed was Crowley and whatever they faced after that they would face together - he just knew it. 

They stayed like that, wrapped in each others arms for the rest of the night and every night after.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! let me know what you think, comments and Kudos are my lifeline so leave what you can!
> 
> as always, thanks to my amazing beta @Tv-saved-the-teenage-girl for literally everything


End file.
